So that Jamie Oliver cookbook I won has some pretty intense opinions about the types of things I should have in my kitchen. Admittedly, he is trying to give 15 minute recipes and is super up-front about the fact that if you don't have all the gadgets you will not be able to do it in that amount of time. Still, I think that requiring an immersion blender, a regular blender AND a food processor is a bit much. I'm still super pleased that I have a blender at all, but I got that mainly for smoothies (mmmm, smoothies).
But! I do in fact have a garlic press. I even managed to find a nice heavy metal one at a garage or estate sale or some such. And garlic always takes forever to peel and chop, so hey, just putting it into the garlic press with the skin on sounds sort of amazing. I'm game. Let's do that time saving thing!
Now, I'd had mixed results with the garlic press before, but I hadn't left the skin on, and maybe I hadn't committed to it properly? Surely it can't have gone as poorly as I remember it going. Time saving! Do this thing! Yay!
Did you know that garlic juice burns? I do now. And I don't mean in the frying pan. I don't know if it is me, the press, or some type of horrible cosmic cooking justice, but I sent garlic juice flying EVERYWHERE, and every drop that splashed onto my arms was like a tiny horrible acid burn (which makes sense, I bet garlic juice is acidic. Probably what makes them so delicious! mmm.). My hands were slippery, the press was fighting me, and there was horrible acidic garlic debris all up my arms. And I still had four cloves to go. And since you are supposed to just press the garlic right into the pan, the garlic needed to be added NOW and I didn't have time to stop and just chop it. Also my partner was "helpfully" mentioning that the garlic that had made it into the pan was beginning to burn in the more traditional cooking disaster sense.
Garlic Press, I curse you. I am also pretty sure this is the second time I have attacked myself with this garlic press. Which means if I don't get rid of it I will, in a couple of months, give it another go. I can tell you now, it probably won't go any better.
But you can totally leave the skin on when pressing the cloves. That was cool.
Friday, February 6, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
Kitchen Fails: No seriously, vinegars, whyyyy? or What's with all the vinegars part two
I like white wine.
But even I sometimes have half a cup or so of leftover white wine in the fridge which has maybe been lurking in the fridge long enough that I am not super keen on drinking it. It will maybe have gone a bit sharp.
No big problem, I thought. I know that people add white wine to vegetables or something. I know that I have glared at recipes that want white wine in them, but only like half a cup, and I hadn't been planning on opening a bottle that evening and I was annoyed about it making a demand that would require a whole bottle commitment when it only wants a little. This is great! I can add this wine to those recipes and I won't even be angry at the ingredient list! Perfect!
Plus I had some new Jamie Oliver cookbooks which I had won in a draw and this seemed right up his alley. So I opened the index.
The index was initially a bit of a disappointment. It did not have a list of all the recipes that had white wine demands. I am regularly disappointed by indexes, especially in cookbooks. But! It did have a WHOLE PAGE devoted to leftover wine. AMAZING. Maybe this page will tell me when and what I can add white wine to for flavour just because I feel like it.
No. No, this page does not tell you useful information like "just add it to those vegetables you are frying, it will be fine" (which is, by the way, usually true it turns out).
This page tells me that, despite ALL THE MANY TYPES OF VINEGAR I ALREADY HAVE, I should be making my own with leftover wine.
AAAAAARGH.
The worse part? THE WORST PART? I now totally want to make my own vinegar.
CURSE YOU JAMIE OLIVER. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE VEGETABLES.
That wine is still in my fridge.
But even I sometimes have half a cup or so of leftover white wine in the fridge which has maybe been lurking in the fridge long enough that I am not super keen on drinking it. It will maybe have gone a bit sharp.
No big problem, I thought. I know that people add white wine to vegetables or something. I know that I have glared at recipes that want white wine in them, but only like half a cup, and I hadn't been planning on opening a bottle that evening and I was annoyed about it making a demand that would require a whole bottle commitment when it only wants a little. This is great! I can add this wine to those recipes and I won't even be angry at the ingredient list! Perfect!
Plus I had some new Jamie Oliver cookbooks which I had won in a draw and this seemed right up his alley. So I opened the index.
The index was initially a bit of a disappointment. It did not have a list of all the recipes that had white wine demands. I am regularly disappointed by indexes, especially in cookbooks. But! It did have a WHOLE PAGE devoted to leftover wine. AMAZING. Maybe this page will tell me when and what I can add white wine to for flavour just because I feel like it.
No. No, this page does not tell you useful information like "just add it to those vegetables you are frying, it will be fine" (which is, by the way, usually true it turns out).
This page tells me that, despite ALL THE MANY TYPES OF VINEGAR I ALREADY HAVE, I should be making my own with leftover wine.
AAAAAARGH.
The worse part? THE WORST PART? I now totally want to make my own vinegar.
CURSE YOU JAMIE OLIVER. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE VEGETABLES.
That wine is still in my fridge.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Kitchen Fails: What's with all the Vinegars?
So I decided to make some salad dressing the other night.
I always thought I hated salad, but I have slowly come to realize that I hate Kraft Italian Dressing and that the salads my friends made with actual homemade salad dressings were lovely, so I've started making my own. Most of the time it is just balsamic vinegar, lemon juice and olive oil with some salt and pepper, and maybe honey if I am feeling fancy. Sometimes I add garlic. But I was feeling chipper and thought, AHA, I will see what other salad dressing recipes are out there on the internet and perhaps make a different dressing for tonight.
Guys, I hate food blogs. I hate them SO MUCH. They give me rage outs. So I am looking for a salad dressing recipe, feeling pretty good about the fact that I have been making my own salad dressings for a couple of years and have a well stocked kitchen and should be able to do it.
And does the internet give me a nice alternative and simple recipe to make?
No.
No it does not.
No, it tells me that the vinegars I have are unacceptable and that I need to go out and buy YET ANOTHER TYPE OF VINEGAR.
For the record, I already have four types of vinegar in my house:
Rice wine vinegar
White vinegar
Apple cider vinegar
Balsamic vinegar
This seemed to me an already excessive number of vinegars. I was already cranky about the recipes with their super specific vinegar needs. But nooo, evidently I need Red Wine Vinegar too. No, I said, no, I don't want more vinegars. So I clicked on the next link.
What did it want?
Champagne vinegar.
No seriously, I didn't even know that EXISTED and here the food blog recipe thing is just all ... and so you just get your champagne vinegar out of the cupboard and make salad dressing. Nothing for the vinegars I already had. What do people just have ENTIRE SHELVES in their houses of types of vinegar? WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?
I have so far refused to buy these extra types of vinegar. I made my old recipe instead. Screw you internet.
grumble grumble Champagne Vinegar grumble.
I always thought I hated salad, but I have slowly come to realize that I hate Kraft Italian Dressing and that the salads my friends made with actual homemade salad dressings were lovely, so I've started making my own. Most of the time it is just balsamic vinegar, lemon juice and olive oil with some salt and pepper, and maybe honey if I am feeling fancy. Sometimes I add garlic. But I was feeling chipper and thought, AHA, I will see what other salad dressing recipes are out there on the internet and perhaps make a different dressing for tonight.
Guys, I hate food blogs. I hate them SO MUCH. They give me rage outs. So I am looking for a salad dressing recipe, feeling pretty good about the fact that I have been making my own salad dressings for a couple of years and have a well stocked kitchen and should be able to do it.
And does the internet give me a nice alternative and simple recipe to make?
No.
No it does not.
No, it tells me that the vinegars I have are unacceptable and that I need to go out and buy YET ANOTHER TYPE OF VINEGAR.
For the record, I already have four types of vinegar in my house:
Rice wine vinegar
White vinegar
Apple cider vinegar
Balsamic vinegar
This seemed to me an already excessive number of vinegars. I was already cranky about the recipes with their super specific vinegar needs. But nooo, evidently I need Red Wine Vinegar too. No, I said, no, I don't want more vinegars. So I clicked on the next link.
What did it want?
Champagne vinegar.
No seriously, I didn't even know that EXISTED and here the food blog recipe thing is just all ... and so you just get your champagne vinegar out of the cupboard and make salad dressing. Nothing for the vinegars I already had. What do people just have ENTIRE SHELVES in their houses of types of vinegar? WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?
I have so far refused to buy these extra types of vinegar. I made my old recipe instead. Screw you internet.
grumble grumble Champagne Vinegar grumble.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
So I continue to be super pleased by the Steampunk world. I did the organizing for a few steampunk picnics in Ottawa this summer, and by about the third month realized I was bored with all my usual outfits. So I decided to base an outfit around a pair of suspenders and ended up THRILLED with my Steampunk version of Clockwork Orange meets the Teddy Girls (the-forgotten-1950s-girl-gang). I called it my Spider Girl.
Just goes to prove that Parasol Duelling isn't just for ladies.
Also it is always amazing to work with brilliant photographers. Thank you JJWENZEL!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Craft Pledge 2013
With the completion of 2013 and the New Year's Party gift delivery success, my Craft Pledge 2013 is now finished and I get to post photos!
The faceybooks inspired Craft Pledge 2013 with the following post:
2013 Creative Pay-It-Forward!
The first five people to comment on this status will receive a surprise something from me, in the year ahead. It could be anything - a card, a print, a book, a photo, an invitation for a tasty cocoa... The catch? Those five people must make the same offer in their status. Three, two, one... Go
So I did. Here are the packaged fruits of my labour.
I sent my Australian craft pledges first, because I knew I would be seeing the Americans at New Year's (Canadian friends, I do not know why, but none of you volunteered for Craft Pledge 2013).
My plan for Craft Pledge 2013 was that for every craft I would learn/relearn a skill. So for Victor, I learnt to do colour swaping in crochet to design a cellphone holder in Horde Colours.
I found an ENORMOUS horde cross-stitch pattern, mucked about with it and came up with this. I even mocked up a tiny cardboard cellphone in the correct size so that it would fit. I super love how it looks, but I neglected to teach myself how to keep the insides from being a huge mass of yarn ends, so hopefully Victor has found some use for it.
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With the Australian deliveries sent and received, I settled into the rest of the pledges.
I did acrylic painting for Clara. The tiny incense cones have been called poo by one person already, but I'm still reasonably pleased with how this new medium turned out.
I did a crochet rose for Christina, which was my first time working in crochet 3D. I really enjoy this pattern and have made SEVERAL of these suckers with odds and ends from other projects:
http://www.mazkwok.com/2012/
The project that took the longest was this video game themed scarf. I found the symbol from Sid Meier's Alpha Centari, which has been Siard's chat icon for YEARS. I then had to design the pattern on graft paper, learn to do proper colour swapping so that it would look good from the front AND the back and then play with a BILLION different balls of yarn because what the hell crochet, you basically are the WORST at making diagonal lines. Plus scarves are actually really big!
Cheryl received an oriental ink brushwork triptych of birds and trees, but I COMPLETELY forgot to take photos of them before delivering them.
The Craft Pledge actually took me all year to complete, so I'm not planning on doing a 2014 version, but since I just learnt to knit, I can guarantee there will be more crafts in my future.
The project that took the longest was this video game themed scarf. I found the symbol from Sid Meier's Alpha Centari, which has been Siard's chat icon for YEARS. I then had to design the pattern on graft paper, learn to do proper colour swapping so that it would look good from the front AND the back and then play with a BILLION different balls of yarn because what the hell crochet, you basically are the WORST at making diagonal lines. Plus scarves are actually really big!
Cheryl received an oriental ink brushwork triptych of birds and trees, but I COMPLETELY forgot to take photos of them before delivering them.
The Craft Pledge actually took me all year to complete, so I'm not planning on doing a 2014 version, but since I just learnt to knit, I can guarantee there will be more crafts in my future.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Kitchen Fails: What happened to my pies?
So I'm usually pretty good at pies. They're one of the things that my dad makes, so I've taken part in lots of pie endeavours, and I usually keep them pretty simple. I make the dough recipe that's on the Tenderflake box because it is awesome and super simple (if you're in the states and can't find any Tenderflake, then I don't know what to tell you because none of the pie crust recipes seem to work without that lovely pastry lard. Australia, your pastry lard is kept with the butter) .
Anyway, usually my pies go easy peasy awesome (we've even been recreating Australian Meat Pies here at Home Base Canada, but that's another story). But the other day I got some Saskatoon berries and some currants and decided that I would just make pies with those and that it would be fine.
Guys, it was not actually fine.
First off, I somehow screwed up the dough. This was pretty much just the situation of me making the dough too dry and then FOR SOME REASON refusing to add more water, even though I knew it was too dry. Being stubborn is usually one of my strengths, but sometimes it means I refuse to add more water to dough that I know needs it. So yes, there was that to start, which meant that the dough was already giving me a bit of a headache.
Now, I figured that currants were not going to be the same as blueberries or raspberries, which is what I usually work with. So I looked them up on the internet. I knew they weren't as sweet, so I wanted to make sure I didn't screw it up.
The internet recipe said to cover the berries with sugar before plopping them into the pastry shells, so that's what I did. Usually I just pour the sugar over the berries once I've measured them into the pastrified pie pan, but whatever. This was a new recipe and I didn't want my pies to be too tart.
Then I topped off the pies and popped them into the oven.
Then I cleaned my bowls. And realized that ALL OF MY SUGAR had stuck to the sides of my white bowl, because the berries had been freshly cleaned and all damp. Yep, all of that sugar, not in the pies.
And yes, if you were wondering, currants are WAY tarter than blueberries. All I can say is, thank god for ice cream.
Anyway, usually my pies go easy peasy awesome (we've even been recreating Australian Meat Pies here at Home Base Canada, but that's another story). But the other day I got some Saskatoon berries and some currants and decided that I would just make pies with those and that it would be fine.
Guys, it was not actually fine.
First off, I somehow screwed up the dough. This was pretty much just the situation of me making the dough too dry and then FOR SOME REASON refusing to add more water, even though I knew it was too dry. Being stubborn is usually one of my strengths, but sometimes it means I refuse to add more water to dough that I know needs it. So yes, there was that to start, which meant that the dough was already giving me a bit of a headache.
Now, I figured that currants were not going to be the same as blueberries or raspberries, which is what I usually work with. So I looked them up on the internet. I knew they weren't as sweet, so I wanted to make sure I didn't screw it up.
The internet recipe said to cover the berries with sugar before plopping them into the pastry shells, so that's what I did. Usually I just pour the sugar over the berries once I've measured them into the pastrified pie pan, but whatever. This was a new recipe and I didn't want my pies to be too tart.
Then I topped off the pies and popped them into the oven.
Then I cleaned my bowls. And realized that ALL OF MY SUGAR had stuck to the sides of my white bowl, because the berries had been freshly cleaned and all damp. Yep, all of that sugar, not in the pies.
And yes, if you were wondering, currants are WAY tarter than blueberries. All I can say is, thank god for ice cream.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Cthulhu Pie
Have you seen the picture of the Cthulhu Pie? (There's a joke in there somewhere: "Have you seen this pie?" "No, is it new?" "No, it's an Old One" hahaha.)
I saw it, and then had the strange experience, which almost never happens to me on the internet, of looking at something awesome and saying "hang on a minute, I think I can make that".
Conveniently, I was also going to Harvest Noir (a picnic flashmob where we all dress SUPER FANCY and ALL IN BLACK and eat local food in neato Ottawa locations) with the Ottawa Steampunk society and if that isn't a perfect situation to make and consume Cthulhu pie well I don't know what is. (I mean, we play a lot of Arkham Horror, so it isn't like my life is short on opportunities to add some Lovecraftian edibles to my life, but I did need something to bring to the picnic)
Guys, if any of you make pies, this is not actually tricky AT ALL. Which I wasn't sure of when I started, so I made two pies, but waited until the first one was baked before starting the second pie JUST IN CASE. Also I made them four days in advance because I still needed to make bread for the picnic and ALSO also there was the possibility I was going to have to start all over (which is why I bought two boxes of the lard/shortening). But it all turned out really well AND they tasted good, so double win!
I made the recipe for pie crust on the Tenderflake box, because I love that recipe and it is easy and I know the pastry dough it produces is easy to work with. This time, I was super careful about not making it too dry (unlike last time). I also decided to make blueberry pie instead of trying the cherries from the photograph because I know what I'm doing when it comes to blueberries and I wanted to use something familiar (unlike last time). I also didn't do any of the strange berry prep things that books seem to think are a good idea and just poured the corn starch and sugar right onto the berries once they were in the pie (again, unlike last time. God last time did not turn out well.) I also avoided using the frozen berries I'd bought and used the nice ones from our local market, but that was mainly because we're supposed to be using local produce and I'm not entirely sure "Canada" counts as local when the country is as huge as it is.
I tragically did not have a krinkle cut cookie cutter or pastry cutter or whatever they used to get that nice edging, and also forgot to buy one on three separate occasions. My lovely boyfriend picked me this up to use instead.
I admit that I was skeptical, but it actually turned out just fine.
So I layered the tentacles all over the pie and shaped the head with some more blueberries. The eyes turned out to be really simple to do, I just wrapped a triangular strip of dough around a berry and then threw the whole thing in the oven at the temperatures suggested by The Joy of Cooking for berry pies (450 F for ten minutes, 350 F for 35-40 minutes until Golden Brown). I even did the thing I Never Do and brushed it with milk so that it would turn out all pretty and browned.
Guys, I love how these pies turned out. Look at that Old One, just hanging out in my oven, dreaming his dreams of destruction.
I ended up with two pretty distinct Ancients, Mr. Squinty and Bright Eyes.
Then I popped them both in ziplock bags and just hoped they'd maintain their awesomeness while hanging out in my fridge. I also hoped they wouldn't destroy everything else in my fridge. And then, on Saturday, I took them out into the wild. Turns out blueberry Cthulhu pie survives in a fridge for a couple of days Just Fine. The nice part is these guys are easy enough that they may be appearing at future parties from now on. ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn (1)
I saw it, and then had the strange experience, which almost never happens to me on the internet, of looking at something awesome and saying "hang on a minute, I think I can make that".
Conveniently, I was also going to Harvest Noir (a picnic flashmob where we all dress SUPER FANCY and ALL IN BLACK and eat local food in neato Ottawa locations) with the Ottawa Steampunk society and if that isn't a perfect situation to make and consume Cthulhu pie well I don't know what is. (I mean, we play a lot of Arkham Horror, so it isn't like my life is short on opportunities to add some Lovecraftian edibles to my life, but I did need something to bring to the picnic)
Guys, if any of you make pies, this is not actually tricky AT ALL. Which I wasn't sure of when I started, so I made two pies, but waited until the first one was baked before starting the second pie JUST IN CASE. Also I made them four days in advance because I still needed to make bread for the picnic and ALSO also there was the possibility I was going to have to start all over (which is why I bought two boxes of the lard/shortening). But it all turned out really well AND they tasted good, so double win!
I made the recipe for pie crust on the Tenderflake box, because I love that recipe and it is easy and I know the pastry dough it produces is easy to work with. This time, I was super careful about not making it too dry (unlike last time). I also decided to make blueberry pie instead of trying the cherries from the photograph because I know what I'm doing when it comes to blueberries and I wanted to use something familiar (unlike last time). I also didn't do any of the strange berry prep things that books seem to think are a good idea and just poured the corn starch and sugar right onto the berries once they were in the pie (again, unlike last time. God last time did not turn out well.) I also avoided using the frozen berries I'd bought and used the nice ones from our local market, but that was mainly because we're supposed to be using local produce and I'm not entirely sure "Canada" counts as local when the country is as huge as it is.
I tragically did not have a krinkle cut cookie cutter or pastry cutter or whatever they used to get that nice edging, and also forgot to buy one on three separate occasions. My lovely boyfriend picked me this up to use instead.I admit that I was skeptical, but it actually turned out just fine.
I ended up with two pretty distinct Ancients, Mr. Squinty and Bright Eyes.
Then I popped them both in ziplock bags and just hoped they'd maintain their awesomeness while hanging out in my fridge. I also hoped they wouldn't destroy everything else in my fridge. And then, on Saturday, I took them out into the wild. Turns out blueberry Cthulhu pie survives in a fridge for a couple of days Just Fine. The nice part is these guys are easy enough that they may be appearing at future parties from now on. ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn (1)
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